Nick's Blog

Personal opinions. Aggressively stated.

Hoist By My Own Petard: The anti-Jargon guy circles back and closes the loop

So there I am, publisher of a blog berating people for writing jargon-filled nonsense. I’m quoted in an upcoming article in SearchEnterpriseIT about jargon, and how annoying it is to have someone say something like, “Okay, I’m gonna take that as an action item and circle back to close the loop, but it will be tomorrow ’cause I’m herding cats around here,” as opposed to saying “Sure thing – I’ll send that to you tomorrow.”

And then I get comments from my editors.

Regarding a report I’m doing on ArcSight which will run in the next few days, I get this:

Hi, Nick,
I’m having trouble understanding this sentence. Can you clarify? (Especially the “It avers” bit)

“Logger is a channel play supported with ArcSight’s technical sales force. It avers the IT ops control of budget has been usurped by compliance – especially PCI – and therefore Logger has more horizontal attractiveness than does ESM.”

Herding cats indeed.

So I reply:

Boy, I’m the king of Jargon today…..
To parse that paragraph in English:

Logger is a channel play

ArcSight seeks to sell Logger entirely through sales channels as opposed to directly.

…supported with ArcSight’s technical sales force….

ArcSight anticipates that the in-house ArcSight sales team will assist channel partners with technical questions.

It avers the IT ops control of budget has been usurped by compliance …

ArcSight posits that the information technology operations group’s control of overall spending has been wrested from it by matters concerning Compliance ….

…especially PCI….

Especially by matters concerning compliance with the Payment Card Industry standards . . .

…and therefore Logger has more horizontal attractiveness than does ESM.

And therefore Logger will appeal to more departments whose purchasing authority derives from within the IT budgetary process than does ArcSight’s core product, Enterprise Security Manager – because ESM is a product attractive primarily to the IT Security department.

Yeah. In the words of the late, great Frank Zappa:

I’m learning English/I can say “thank you”/I think I like you/Do you like my band-aid?/I hope you do…

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